I want to help you unlock your inner story-teller.  I want to uncover the innate talent that you have built inside of you that you can use to  tell your story to the world.

You may have a powerful idea that deserves to be let out into the world.  You may be trying to sell a product or service that you know people will need and want.  You may be a royal jerk, and need to tell people how awesome you think you are.  I want to help you out- if you’re a jerk I want to help you stop being a jerk.

So let me tell you a story about my dog.

For reals?  What’s a dog have to do with effectively getting my word to the people? 

It just so happens that my dog knows a lot about getting what she wants, and we can all learn from her example.

Xnabelle is a sad golden doodle.

Xenabelle Warrior Princess Markowitz is a Golden Doodle- that means she’s half Poodle and half Golden Retriever.  We have a ritual in my house that gets repeated every day.  Xenabelle brings a toy to the person she thinks is most likely going to play with her.

Sometimes, Xenabelle will go from my wife, Tina to my son, Ryan.  They’re busy working on a puzzle in the living room.  Oh no.  She’ll find my oldest, Jessica only to see that she’s doing homework.  Oh Crap.  Then, she clip-claps over the kitchen tiles with her squeaky bear in her mouth to find me doing the dishes.  Son of a B—-!

Nobody can play with poor Xenabelle.  It’s really sad.

No.  It’s really sad because when this happens to her, she throws her doggie self into a fit of depression.  Xena takes her stuffed squeaky bear, or a bone, and she mopes in the sun room.  To see it is to see true despair.  She whines and cries, making sure we all can hear.  Then she slowly lowers herself into a down dog and she sucks on her toy like a baby pacifier.

It’s truly the saddest thing to behold.

She will only endure this sadness for a few minutes though.  She endulges us our activities, but Xena determines when we’ve had enough.

She will come back and find the person she wants to play with.  Usually it’s me.  Then she boldly will walk up to me- soapy dishes in hand. Xena gently drops her bear at my feet.  Then, what she does next is what this lesson is all about.

Xena- knowing exactly what will happen to her- lowers her snoot towards the floor and thrusts her bowed head into my pant leg.

What the dog is offering is her poodle pom-pom to me as an offering of trade.  The dog knows that I will gladly play with her for the Xener Beaner she’s offering.

What the Heck is a Xener Beaner?

It’s a vigorous half petting, half pummeling of her pom-pom head.  We so enjoy messing up her poodle hat so much, that we have given the activity a name.  This heavy head petting is called a “Xener Beaner.”  A good Xener Beanering will last a few minutes.

Xena hates it.  No human can resist doing it.  The Universe is cruel and unjust sometimes, for only after a good, energetic Xener Beanering, will anybody in my family play with the poor dog.

I feel bad for the dog, but what’s this have to do with being a better communicator?

To be heard.  To really be understood and appreciated.  Most importantly- to influence and persuade others- you need to understand what Xenabelle knows instinctually.

You have to provide something of value to others if you expect anything in return.

Simple, right?  However we forget this all the time.

You will never gain favor with others in a real, organic, meaningful way unless you can first show that you have something to offer them.

Xenabelle doesn’t like to get her hair cut messed up, but she gives in to us every day.

You should see how happy she is after the Xener Beaner!  She’s fetching and running, and she’s got her tail wagging a mile-a-minute.  She gives us something and we enthusiastically reciprocate by giving Xena exactly what she is asking us for.

• So in your communications consider doing the same.  Ask for what you want, but don’t ever forget to provide value to your audience first.

Now, I’m going to nuzzle up to your pant leg and tell you what I’d like you to do for me.

(Whoa. That was weird.)

If you liked my story, then please leave a comment below.

Better that that even- If you have any questions about telling better stories, then let’s hear it.  Even if- way back in paragraph 2- you’ve determined that your’e a jerk, I would still love to hear your questions or comments.